The Worst April Fool's Day Prank Ever
by Boolia
Summary: Klaus, fed up with not having a good April Fool's Day joke, does the baddest, meanest, the most horrible, prank ever; fakes his death! Rated T because it's American Dad.
1. Part 1

The Worst April Fool's Day Prank Ever

Part 1

Two years ago

I was dead…or that's what I thought when I opened my eyes. I was in total darkness.

"_What the?"_ I questioned. Suddenly, I saw a bright light shine above me. I squinted up at it. "Am I in _heaven?_"

Suddenly, the blackness surrounding me went away, and I then saw Haley, Steve, Stan, and Francine next to me. There were lit candles lining the room.

"You guys are dead too?" I asked them.

"Yes Klaus." Hayley answered. I blinked in confusion.

"How did we all die then? I don't remember anything."

"It's all _my _fault." Hayley replied, looking ashamed. "I was driving drunk." I blinked at her.

"Where's Roger? Did he die too or did he go to…" I then saw Roger approach me. He was laughing.

"_What_?" I then heard my friends laughing too. "_Guys_? What are you laughing at?" Then I realized something. "Hey, wait a minute! This isn't heaven! This is home in Langley Falls, Virginia!"

"_Oh Klaus_," Roger chuckled. Francine went to turn on the lights, and went by us again. "Oh Klaus, you thought we were all actually _dead_? My _gosh_; you're a riot!" I looked around. The things surrounding me were boxes, now all on the floor. The 'light' I've seen was from Roger's flashlight he had in his hands. I looked at my family again, and narrowed my eyes at them all.

"You _tricked_ me!" They all looked at me and stopped laughing.

"_APRIL FOOLS_!" They all shouted. Roger hit me out of my bowl and onto the floor, hooting with laugher. My family then all fell on the floor, and roared with laughter as I struggled to survive.

Last Year

I awoke when I felt a slobbery lick. It was a puppy! A brown chocolate lab puppy!

"_Bark, bark_!" It barked then went near Roger. "_Bark, bark!" _I looked at Roger, confused.

"_Roger?"_ I asked. "What's this dog doing here?" Stan came up to me.

"Klaus," He started. "You no longer live here." I gasped.

"_What, why_?"

"Because you're a goldfish. You do nothing; all you do is stay in that bowl all day."

"You mean because I'm incapable of doing anything…you are replacing me with a _dog_?"

"That's right."

"_Why_?"

"He can do more, Klaus."

_"Yeah_!" Steve agreed. "He can do tricks; watch this!" He looked at the puppy. "Coco, sit!" Coco sat without hesitation. "Coco, speak!" Coco stood on all fours again and barked. "_Good girl_ Coco, _play dead_!" Coco flopped on the floor, pretending he was dead. Steve rubbed Coco's tummy. The puppy panted happily.

_"Good girl_!" Steve then baby talked to the pup. "Who's a good girl, who's a good girl?" The dog barked as if saying "_Me_!" Steve gave the dog a biscuit and patted her. He stopped the baby talk. "Good job Coco." He stood up.

_"I_ can play dead!" I volunteered. I pretended to play dead. "_See_?" Stan grabbed my bowl and carried me outside to a black van. A police officer was in the driver's seat.

"_Nooo_! Stan, you _can't_ do this!" He put me in the trunk. "_Stan_…I'm not human _yet!_" I watched as the family came near. The dog was barking his head off. I looked at the lab, and narrowed my eyes at her. "You ruined my life!" Stan shut it and the van then took off. _"Noooooooo_!" I yelled as my family waved to me.

I was surprised suddenly when we stopped…in front of the house again. I was confused. Did the officer forget something? The officer opened the trunk. He took off his uniform, and I gasped. It was Roger!

_"Roger_?" I asked. "What gives? This isn't the pound, pet shop, or whatever you were planning to do with me."

The whole family then came out. Roger went by them. I looked confused at them.

"_Guys_? What's going on?"

"_APRIL FOOLS_!" They all shouted. Then the puppy knocked me to the cement with her tail. I struggled for survival.

"_Good job Coco_!" Steve congratulated her, the dog barked with glee, and then the whole family resumed on laughing, not at all helping me to my bowl.

Present

Roger and I were watching Animal Planet on TV. It was a documentary about goldfish. Roger was eating goldfish crackers.

_"Hey_!" He realized, leaning towards me. "I'm watching a documentary about goldfish with a goldfish while eating goldfish snacks! What are the odds of that?" He leaned back and took another handful. I faked a laugh.

"_Yeah!_ What a coincidence!" I looked back at the TV.

Suddenly, Roger grabbed me by the tail. I grew wide-eyed as he opened his mouth, and dragged me closer.

"_HEY!_" I shouted, looking mad. He closed his mouth and looked at me.

"_Oops, sorry_!" He placed me back in my bowl. I looked at him madly. "It was bad enough when Stan tried to make me into a tuna sandwich due to his stupid obsession with Hayley's CD! But _this_, this is _barbaric_!" He just laughed.

"It's _NOT_ funny!" I snapped. He stopped laughing.

_"Klaus_," He started. "I didn't mean it; I must've mistaken you for one of my crackers. You look so alike; I must have got carried away. It was a mistake." I rolled my eyes, not believing it one bit.

"_Yeah_, a mistake!"

"No Klaus, it really was a mistake."

"Yeah, _sure_ it was." He pointed a mean finger at me.

_"Now you look here fish_!" He debated. "It was a mistake; it was just an honest _mistk_…" But he was interrupted by Stan who just walked up to us. He looked once at the TV, then at us.

"Why are you watching a documentary about _goldfish?_ In fact, I didn't even know one existed."

"It does." Roger told him.

_"Okay_!" Stan then turned to me. "Hey Klaus, _guess what_! Today's your lucky day; we're transplanting your brain back into a human!" I gasped with joy.

_"Really_?" Stan nodded.

"Yes, really; you will no longer be a trapped in a goldfish's body."

_"Wunderbar_!" I cheered.

Then suddenly, Stan knocked my bowl, I fell on the floor, flopping for breath.

_"Ha!"_ He laughed. "_April Fools!_ You thought I was going to switch your brain back into a human! Ha, not in a _million _years!" He got out another bowl, put me into it, and placed it on the end table. He went to the other room, still laughing.

"It's _not _April first." I looked at Roger, still eating his crackers. "_Is it_?"

"_No._" He answered. "We just like pranking you and we're practicing for tomorrow." I looked at him, confused.

"_Tomorrow_?" He nodded.

"_Uh huh_! Tomorrow's April Fool's Day. Didn't you know that?" He ate some more.

"I…I guess I didn't. I don't have an April Fool's Day prank for you yet"

"What a shocker. Your jokes always fail anyways. I wouldn't worry about it." He continued on eating (He really liked those goldfish.) I thought about this, and then realized something.

"You know, you don't have to keep buying fishbowls if you stop knocking me to the floor every time. _Heck_, you don't have to buy them if I was human! The family is really wasting money every time they have to buy me a fishbowl due to a careless act."

_"Nah_! We got enough money. You're not getting off that easy, fish."

"You know I could die if you guys didn't give me water in time." He shrugged.

"You could; but you don't!"

"_Yeah,_ but say it _did_ happen! What will you do then?" He just looked at me.

"Just watch TV, fish."

I sighed as I turned to the TV. I then got an idea as I saw a dead floating goldfish, then it switched to a fish swimming in a fishbowl, and a little girl, happy she got a new pet. I turned to Roger again.

_"Take me to Petco_!" I blurted out. Roger was so surprised that he dropped his crackers. He looked at me.

"You want a friend, don't you? Klaus, whenever we get you a friend, you kill it, or it creeps you out."

"Well that's because it was _dead!_ How would you feel if you had a fish carcass just floating above you?"

"_Hmmm_, good point. But, why _Petco?_" I fumbled with my fins, looking evil.

"You'll see."

"_See?_ See what?"

"_Uh, uh_, Miley Cyrus is there handing out her new album." The alien then bolted out of his seat.

_"OMG_!" He cried. "_Miley Cyrus_? I'm _so_ there!" I looked shocked. Roger _hated _Miley; in fact, everybody hated her in this family, even me. But whatever will make Roger come to Petco with me, I guess I'm cool with it.

Hayley then came by. She glanced at the TV, then back at us.

"Why are you watching a documentary about _goldfish?_" She wanted to know. Roger shrugged.

"I have no idea." He then pointed at me. "It was Klaus' idea, not mine."

_"It was not!_" I shot at him. He went to the TV and turned it off. He turned around.

"Anyways, we're going to Petco to see Miley Cyrus. Want to come?"

"_No._"

"Fine, be that way; _we're _going!" He went upstairs to get his disguise. Hayley just shrugged and went to the other room.

_"Soon_!" I said to myself. "Soon I'll have the _ultimate_ April Fool's Day prank ever!" I then laughed evilly to myself until Stan ordered me to shut up, and then Steve because he couldn't 'concentrate' on his homework. I stopped.

Roger drove us to Petco. Today, Roger's persona was Margaret Peach. He wore a brunette wig, had a purse (when Roger asked me why the purse, I told him he might want to buy one of Miley's CDS or a ticket to her concert) lipstick, a blue shirt, purple slacks, clip on earrings, one earring was on his nose (or where his nose would be), a belly button earring, a lip earring, and even earrings on his fake eyelashes with purple eye shadow (I said he might be going overboard with the earrings, he said it made him more "Teenagy." I reminded him that a lot of teens don't wear any earrings at all; he told me just to shut up and said it made him more "hip") and a paper mache fan.

He carried me into the store. There were pets and their owners everywhere in the store either grooming, nail painting, getting a haircut, or just wandering the store and buying items they need.

_"Okay fish_." Roger said. "Where's Miley Cyrus?"

"She's in the fish area." I said, pointing that direction. We went to where all the fish aquariums were.

We went to one of the fish aisles and saw nothing but fish in their aquariums.

"Are you positive she's here fish? You better not be joking, it's not time yet for that. You can't prank me anyways; your jokes stink just like you." He then laughed and stopped when he noticed me glaring at him.

_"Positive_." I said. I then pointed at a blue curtain in the corner. "Maybe she's behind that curtain."

"Okay." He sat me down on a little table nearby. "You stay here. I'm going in!" He went to the curtain. When he was gone, behind the curtain, I quickly scanned the area.

"_Okay Klaus_," I told myself. "you have a little amount of time before Roger gets back. Either find a dead fish or a fish that you can kill yourself." Then from the corner of my eye, I saw it! A dead fish, but not just _any _dead fish, a dead _goldfish,_ just floating on the surface of its aquarium.

"_Wundarbar_, just what I need!" I then realized that I was too far away from it. "Shoot. I'm too far; I need Roger so I can reach."

Roger then stormed out. He was mad. A dashound was clinging on his butt.

_"Stupid Klaus_!" Roger snapped at me. He went near my bowl. I turned around to look at him. "Miley Cyrus isn't here! You took me out here for nothing! I hate her even; we _all_ hate her. Why did you drag me here?" I was about to answer, when he then showed me the dog clinging tight onto his butt. "And now I got this stupid dog biting into my butt thanks to you!" He then shook it off. "_Shoo, shoo_!" we then heard a "_RIPPPPPP!_" Roger looked behind himself and gasped! The dog had bitten part of his slacks off! The dog dropped onto the floor with part of Roger's pants and scampered back behind the curtain. "Owners need to pay more attention to their pets." He then rubbed his butt, and his eyes grew wide.

"What is it?" I asked.

"That dog stole my butt earring!" I looked puzzled at him.

"Your _butt_ earring?" He looked up at me.

"Yeah, there was an earring on my butt, and now it's gone. You think I went too far with the earrings, don't you?" I looked a bit disturbed.

"Yeah, you went a little overboard." He sighed.

"I know." He then shrugged it off. "Well, let's leave." He then picked me up and carried me out.

He looked around the area, trying to find something to cover his butt.

"_Darn it!"_ He said. "There's nothing here to cover my butt with. Well, hopefully nobody will notice.

A mother and child then came by us. The kid looked at the butt.

"_Hey look mom_!" He told her, pointing. "A full moon!"

Embarrassed, the mom shielded her son's eyes as she dragged him on.

When we were near the dead fish's aquarium, I was about to tell Roger to stop. I was very fortunate that a plump woman came to us. She asked about her dog. Roger told her the dog went behind the curtain.

I quickly grabbed the dead fish and placed it in Roger's purse. I zipped it shut so Roger wouldn't notice. I was ready now. I waited for Roger.

Roger got whacked in the cheek by the lady's purse. She grabbed her dog and rushed off. Roger rubbed his cheek.

"And next time, keep _an eye on your pooch, lady_!" He yelled after the departing mad woman carrying her dog in her arms.

Before we went home, Roger ran into the restroom to get a paper towel to cover his you-know-what with after he just couldn't take it anymore with the people laughing every time we passed by.

When we were home, Roger put me on the table and went upstairs to change. To my horror, he bought the purse with him! I crossed my fins.

_"Please don't look in the purse,"_ I prayed to myself. "_Please don't look in the purse!" _

Roger then went back down, purse in hand, in his usual form and without the towel.

"_Oh Klaus_!" He said. "I forgot something." He went near me and smacked me to the floor. "_Ha, ha_! _Goodnight, fish_!" He then went back upstairs. I looked at Stan, standing next to me with an extra fishbowl.

"I know he was going to do that." He said. He grabbed me by the tail, placed me in the bowl, and set it on the table.

"Well Klaus," He said. "See you tomorrow!" He waved to me, and went upstairs.

I fumbled with my fins when he was gone with a mischievirous grin.

"Yes Stan_, tomorrow_! See you _tomorrow._" I then began to sing from one of my favorite movies, _Annie_.

_"Tomorrow_," I sang. "_Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow. You're only a dayyyyyyy awayyyyyyyyy!"_

_"Shut up Klaus_!" Stan shouted from upstairs. I stopped, grinned, and then fell asleep.

In the morning, Stan came down the stairs.

"Good _morning_ family!" He suddenly slipped on a banana peel that was on the stairs. "_Whoa_!" He screamed as he stumbled down the stairs. Roger came down with the purse from yesterday, laughing hysterically.

_"APRIL FOOLS_!" He shouted, rolling on the stairs, laughing. "You really _fell_ for it!" When Stan came down the stairs, he stepped on a single rollerblade, and it zoomed off with him in it. This made Roger laugh louder. The rest of the family came down to see what all the commotion was about.

Suddenly, Stan was heading towards me, still trying to catch his balance. I panicked.

_ "STAN_!" Francine shouted, fear in her voice. "Look out for the fishbowl!" Too late, Stan rammed into me and I flew and crashed into the side wall, falling to the ground. My cup was next to me conviently. Stan had flipped onto the sofa, my water bowl on his head. He tried to take it off, but was unsuccessful. The family all rushed to him. Roger sat his purse down. Roger was no longer laughing; he was now bug-eyed with shock.

"_Oh my gosh_! _Stan_, are you alright?" Stan took off the bowl and looked at his family.

_"No_!" He said with a sad sniff with tears in his eyes. "I think I broke a bone in my leg; I'll need to go to a hospital." The family gasped.

"_Stan_!" Roger then began to cry. "I'm _sorry_!" He cried in the agent's lap. Stan laughed. Roger stopped crying and looked at him.

"Why are you laughing?" He asked. Stan stopped and looked at him.

"_April fools_!" He told him. "I'm fine!" Roger looked mad.

"That was a mean joke Stan!" He scolded. "I thought I really hurt you. You should be ashamed."

"You're right; I'm sorry. Let's just get Klaus into his bowl."

While this was all happening, I jumped into my cup, went to the purse, unzipped, got the dead fish, (Yes, it was still there) and zipped it shut. I then tossed it on the floor, and went as fast as I could and hid behind the wall in the corner. I looked out at my family, grinning.

"_Uh guys_," Steve started. "I don't think we can prank Klaus today, or for eternity for that matter." Roger looked at him.

_"Why?"_ He wanted to know. Steve pointed at the dead fish body on the floor. The family looked at where the boy was pointing too, and gasped. Stan went to the lifeless body and picked it up by the tail.

"_Oh my gosh_." He said. "What have we done? Klaus is… _dead_."

Francine went by her husband's side to comfort him. I could see a teardrop streaming down her face, she sniffed. Stan had a teardrop steaming down his cheek too. I looked at the rest of the family. They all had teardrops in their eyes, wiping them away.

I grinned. Me, I was happy for what I've done. For _years,_ I have tried pulling pranks on my family and had failed miserably. Now, I was happy, I had finally pulled the ultimate prank.

I scurried to the center of room and held up my fins.

_"APIL FOOLS_!" I shouted. They didn't listen or even look up. They just kept on crying.

"_April Fools_!" Still, they were too busy crying too hear me. I put my fins down.

_"Uh, April Fools_! _Come on guys_, it was only a joke! Just an honest jo…" Then at that instant I realized that I had done something terribly wrong.


	2. Part 2

Part 2

I felt extremely guilty for what I've done. I wish that I could change things, but alas, I can't. _Oh well_, at least as I don't get caught, I should be good, right?

I resumed watching my family as they cried.

"Well, I guess we should flush him down the toilet." Steve sniffed, and then looked at his dad. "_Right, Dad_?"

Stan thought about this, and then came up with a solution.

_"No."_ He said. "No, I have a better idea. Since Klaus is human, we can't just flush him down the toilet and just forget about him. _No_, now this may sound silly and a little stupid coming from me, but I think we should give him a proper burial in the backyard."

"You mean like a _funeral?"_ Steve asked.

"Yes, precisely son, a funeral." They all stood up.

_ "Uh_," Roger said. They all looked at the alien. "We're not going to give him the funeral they did for that boy's fish on _Shake it Up_, right?" They looked confused.

"You watch _Shake it Up,_ Roger?" Haley wanted to know.

"Unfortunately yes." Roger admitted. "I watch Disney Channel in my spare time. I just laugh at how ridiculous the shows are. Disney was better in the olden days, now it's filled with all this crap."

_"Anyways_," Stan continued. "We should invite everyone we know, Bullock, his wife and adopted son, Francine's parents, my mother and stepdad, the guys at the agency, Steve's friends, their parents, Linda and Bob, Sergei Kruglov, Father Donovan, Lisa and Johnny Collins, Captain Monty, Debbie, Principal Lewis, Terry, Greg, their baby girl, Libby, Reginald, Tuttle, and all of Klaus' friends."

"_Uh,_ hate to break it to you Stan, but the fish doesn't have any friends, besides his old ones in Germany, and we are _NOT_ inviting them all the way from Germany just to honor a dead fish. I'm sure they have better things to do, we don't have their phone numbers or address, plus it'll cost more, and we don't speak German and I doubt they can speak any English."

"You're right." Stan agreed. "_Fine,_ just our friends here in America."

"And Jeff?" Hayley hoped. Stan looked at his hopeful daughter. He sighed.

"_Fine_, Jeff can come too." Hayley then grinned from ear to ear.

"Oh thanks Dad. You're the best. I'm going to go call him right now." She kissed him on the check, and then left the room. Stan rubbed his cheek and smiled.

"I know." He then looked at the rest of the family. "Okay, we'll have the funeral in five days. We'll prepare until then."

_"I'll make the food_!" Francine volunteered.

"_I'll bring the champagne_!" Roger piped up. Steve looked at him.

_"Roger_," He started. Roger looked at him. "This is supposed to be a _sad _party, not a happy one."

"I'll drink in pity." He told him. Steve looked at his dad again.

"But what am I supposed to say to my friends at school tomorrow?" He asked. "That we are having a funeral for a _goldfish_?" Stan looked at his son.

"Precisely." He just said.

Five days later, everybody at the funeral was wearing black. Everybody that could come that Stan invited came to the funeral (they tried inviting Tuttle, but Tuttle was just too obese). I watched from behind a tree outside, moving to wherever I pleased.

_"So,_ why are we here again?" Snot asked Steve. They were drinking red punch near the punch bowl. "To honor your pet goldfish that died?"

_"Yup_!" Steve said, not sounding amused. "It was my dad's idea."

_"Whatever_." He drank some more.

"I had a funeral for my pet guinea pig!" Barry piped up. "It was sad. I cried for days! His name was Mr. Fudge because of his brown fur." His friends looked at him.

"Oh _yeah!_" Steve remembered. "Didn't he die because you were overfeeding him in the fourth grade?"

"_That's Mr. Fudge_!" Then Barry began to cry. "_Mr. Fudge!"_ Toshi rolled his eyes.

_"Seriously man_," He said in Japanese. "_You need to let it go_!" I then heard Stan talk to his friends and Bullock.

_"Um, Stan_." An agent said. "We didn't know your fish. So why are we here?" Stan looked appalled at this statement.

"Just because you don't know him," Stan said. "Doesn't give you an excuse. It's still sad; he was a human just like all of us! Don't you have any respect at all?" The agents just looked at one another. "Well, do you?" They looked back at Stan.

"Well this _does_ beat being in the house with the wife." He resumed drinking his wine.

_"There you go_!"

Next, I looked at Terry, Greg, and Libby, who was in the stroller. Terry was waving a stuffed princess doll in the baby's face, making her laugh. In his other hand was a bottle of milk.

_"Terry_?" Greg asked. Terry gave Libby the doll to suck on, and looked at him. "Why are we here? We didn't know the person, or in this case, fish, who died. If you ask me, this does feel a little awkward, don't you think?" Terry shrugged.

_"_I know it's awkward!" He replied. "But just play along so we don't upset Stan." Greg looked unsure.

"Well _okay_!" Terry then looked at Libby again who was sucking on the doll's head. He offered the bottle to the baby who dropped the doll to drink. "But this is a great opportunity to teach Libby the circle of life."

"You got that from the _Lion King_, didn't you?"

"Yes, yes I did."

"And you got _that_ from _Phineas and Ferb_."

"Yes, yes I did." Greg sighed, irritated with his partner. Libby took a break from drinking.

"_Fish, fish_!" Libby cheered. Terry and Greg gasped.

_"Oh my gosh_!" Terry said. "Did you hear that, Greg? Libbs said her first word, 'fish.'" Greg rolled his eyes.

"I heard it, Terry! I wished it was 'Dada' through."

"_Hey everyone_!" Terry shouted. Everybody looked at him. "Libby said her very first word 'fish.'" Everyone cheered, and then turned back to what they were doing.

"_Unbelievable_!" Roger observed wine in hand. He was dressed as a boy with baggy pants, a green shirt with a skateboard on it, and blonde hair. "Baby says her first word 'fish' during a funeral. And it's not 'Roger', _figures!"_ He drank his wine.

Stan came to the podium. He picked up the mike, tapped it, and spoke into it.

"Hi everyone!" He greeted. Everyone was now silent as they looked at him. "I'm glad you could all attend our beloved pet fish's funeral, even though you didn't want to." Several people mumbled madly to themselves.

_"Anyways_, Klaus is not what you think. He wasn't really a goldfish, but a human being. He was a German Olympic skier until the CIA transplanted his brain into a goldfish's body. Come to think of it, I think the reason why is kind of selfish. But anyways, enjoy the cake as we prepare for the burial ceremony!" He then left the stage. Everyone else got same cake, and dug in.

Stan carried a tiny, fish sized casket to a dug up grave that read "Klaus Heissler Whatever year he was born-2011." Stan dropped the casket in the hole. He turned to the audience.

_"Now_," He told them. "Get ready as our long-lost son, Bobby, says a eulogy." Roger looked at Stan confused.

_"What_? Stan, an eulogy for a fish?" He asked. "But Stan, I _hate_ him. I don't want…" Stan stopped on Roger's foot. Roger yelped in pain. He jumped on his foot.

"_Stan_!" He whispered, calm now. "I don't have a cheat-sheet with me. What am I going to say?"

"_Relax Roger_." Stan whispered, teeth clenched so nobody could hear. "Just do what Martin Luther King Jr did. Say it from the heart."

"But Stan, I already told you; I hate Klaus! Everybody does, so how can…?" Stan punched him in the shoulder. Roger yelped again. He turned to the mike. "_Fine; fine_! I'll do it but I won't mean it." Stan smiled and gave him the thumbs up. Roger spoke into the mike.

"Klaus Heissler was more then a sick fish with issues." Roger spoke. "He was a friend. Once we went to Europe together so he wouldn't commit suicide. I dressed up as him as a human so he could pay some lawyers who turned out to be members of the German Mafia and they beat me up. Steve and I also played a prank on him and we were scared that he might do something terrible to us. He watched _Grey's Anatomy_ with me. He even celebrated my 16ooth…I mean, _16th,_ birthday with me when no one else did." Roger got teary eyed. "I…I…I'm going to _miss _him!" He burst out crying. "_Why_ did fish have to die?" He cried and cried. "Why couldn't it have been Steve?"

"_What_?" Steve asked. Roger looked at him. "No offence Steve." He resumed crying. Stan smiled at him, and patted his shoulder.

"Nice eulogy." He congratulated him. Roger just ran off stage, crying. Stan spoke into the mike again.

"And without further to do…._let's bury him_!" Francine and Steve picked up their shovels and dug mad over my casket. They were teary eyed when they did it. I watched with a frown on my face.

As Stan told everyone to enjoy the rest of the cake, I sadly scooted into the house. I just couldn't take seeing my fake funeral anymore. It just reminded me more of the awful prank I pulled. I heard Terry ask Roger that if he was really 16, why he drank wine. And if he was really Stan's long lost son, why he really did those things to me. Terry said that he was a bad example for their daughter and said he have Roger go to court for underage drinking. Roger yelled at him to shut up, and kicked him in the shins, making Terry run off crying.

When I was inside, I got my runaway bag ready. Now that I was presumed dead in both East Germany and now here in Langley Falls, I had to hit the trail to wherever it ended up; maybe on the edge of the universe, where I can no longer be a threat.

Suddenly, as I made my way to the back door in the kitchen, I heard Roger's voice.

_"Klaus_?" He questioned. "You're… _alive?_"

I turned around and gasped. There was my entire family standing right in front of me! They all looked mad. I gulped. I was in hot water now! I pretended to play dead in my cup.

My family didn't buy it. Roger stormed to where I was and picked me up by the tail. I opened my eyes to look at him.

_"BAD FISH_!" He yelled. "You made us worried about you; we thought you were dead! I had to wear this lousy getup because of you! And you snuck that dead fish in my purse, didn't it? Now my purse's all wet because of you too!" He threw me into the wall. I got back into my cup, and broke out crying, fins over eyes.

"_I'm…sorry_!" I sobbed. "You guys always play awful pranks on me! I just wanted to pull the ultamate prank! I never meant to hurt anyone…well, maybe Roger." I cried and cried.

"Tears won't work this time, _fish_!" Roger told me, hands crossed his stomach. "What you need is a punishment, but not just any punishment; you will remain a fish as long as you shall live or when the CIA decides you're ready to be a human again!" That made me even sadder.

"That's _already_ my punishment! Can't you just ground me or give me a time-out?" He looked at me.

"_Klaus,_ that's a kid/teen punishment. What you need is much worse. I'll take away what you can't live without, your bowl and your cup." I looked at him.

"But, I'll die without them!"

"_Exactly!_ That's my point; take away the things that you can't live without!" I stopped crying to look at him.

"Roger, this is not the phony teen excuse "I'll die without my cell phone;" I will really _die_ without my cup or bowl." Roger sighed.

_"Fine_! But you still need a punishment. We just need to think of one."

_"Klaus_," Stan explained to me. "What you did was wrong, very wrong. I hope you know that." I sighed and looked down, ashamed.

"I know what I did was unspeakable." I looked up at them again. "And I'm sorry and I really mean that. Can you forgive me?"

"I suppose." Francine said. "But just saying "sorry" won't cut it. You're not off the hook yet, mister."

"Is that supposed to be a pun?" Francine glared at me. _"Okay, okay_! I'm not off the hook, _got it!_ I deserve a punishment, just don't make it death." Francine just smiled.

My punishment was to clean the inside of the toilet with a toothbrush.

"This is _foul_!" I complained to Hayley next to me. I looked at her. "Do I have to? I don't even have a laundry pin to plug my nose!" I tried not to vomit.

"_Yup_!" She said. "Mom said you have to and that is no April Fool's Day joke. Get cleaning Klaus; I'll check up on you in a bit." I sighed and looked at the toilet as she left. I got to work.

Suddenly, I felt a push. I dropped the toothbrush into the toilet. I tried to maintain my balance, but fell in. I resurfaced and looked up. It was Roger! He was laughing.

_"APRIL FOOLS_!" He cheered. He laughed and laughed. Suddenly, I got an idea.

"_Hey Rog,"_ I told him. "Justin Bieber's in town. He's at the Langley Falls mall." He gasped.

"He _is_? No _freakin'_ way!" I nodded.

"Yes freakin' way."

"I'm going to go get his autograph!" He raced for the door, but stopped halfway. He looked at me.

"Wait, I hate Justin Bieber. I hate him more then Miley Cyrus."

_"April Fools_!" I laughed. He growled at me.

_"I'll kill you Klaus_!" He tried to run up to strangle me, but he slipped on a water puddle and landed on his butt. I resumed laughing as he tried several ways to get up. He gave up and collapsed to the floor.

"Oh, I just love April Fool's Day!" I said. "I just _love_ it!" I laughed and laughed.


	3. Part 3

Part 3

_APRIL FOOLS READERS!_ The story is done. There's no part three.


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